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Showing posts from June, 2020

Leaning In Compassionately To My Self-Doubt

It has been difficult + challenging the last few weeks. There's been so much unveiling of all the systemic racism that occurs in the US as well as other parts of the world + it has been incredibly hard to process. My emotions range from rage, anger to sadness + hopelessness. And the last few days I have been racked with self-doubt. The interesting thing, at least to me , is that having a mindfulness meditation practice allows me to watch my thoughts + feelings as they rise up. And fuck have they risen up a lot the last few weeks.  I've been doubting every move + thought + decision I make. What do I post? What do I share? Do I share only because others are sharing the same thing? Is it genuine to me? Does it feel right in my bones to share + post on Instagram. Am I doing enough? Am I enough?? And today I decided to lean in + write in my journal about what I've been feeling because in a way I've been avoiding my self-doubt thoughts/feelings. I may have been objectiv

Anger With Open Heart + Systemic Racism

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I just did a Solidarity + Compassion meditation practice from Jeff Warren's YouTube Channel. Here's the link if you are interested in this practice.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12DFvZ71h-s   Fair warning, this is not a comfortable practice but that's the thing. Seeing systemic racism + violence play out isn't comfortable. It's fucking hard to watch. It makes me angry, upset, sad, ashamed, doubtful of what I can + cannot do. To just name a few of the complex emotions I've been feeling. And you know what I learned during this practice? I need to welcome all of that in. What I'm feeling is normal + human because deep down I know from being a visible minority what it feels like to experience systemic racism. I also know that I don't know what it feels like to be a black person in America or Canada or world-wide but I can imagine how fucking scary it is. When I chose to do this practice, it wasn't a way out of discomfort. It was a w

The Ok-Ness Of It All

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Yesterday, I was doing a bit of my own personal reflection while working on "The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook" by Kristin Neff, PhD & Chris Germer, PhD.  I was on Chapter 10 - 'Loving-Kindness for Ourselves' - taking a moment to reflect on what I needed to hear in terms of phrases for myself and it hit home for me that most times, I just want to be validated that I'm OK, that I will be OK. I came up with three phases that hit home for me which all included the word 'OK": "May I be OK as I am."  "May I begin to feel OK about myself." And a super simple one that I like that feels super validating is, "It's OK, I'm OK."  I thought about it + then meditated to one of Jeff Warren's meditation on YouTube. If you haven't heard of this awesome Canadian author & bonafide MacGyver meditation teacher, go check him out at the link below. https://jeffwarren.org/ After that practice of sitting + doin